Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Reminiscing the past...

It has been a very long time since I really blog anymore. Let's forget about how I have started with this blog, but on how am I going to maintain this blog. Probably I will try to blog as often as possible. Blogging about how I feel here, a place for me to run away from everything and yet able to voice out, ultimately to myself. I don't expect anybody to be reading my blog, even though, sometimes I wish you can see how I feel and reasons of why I did it in a certain way.

This is for you:

I can still remember how you said those words to me. It has been recurring in my mind, everything that you have ever said. I have never regret saying anything to you, because I believe in myself. I am serious with what I said and I meant. I'm responsible for everything.

Someone told me, wooing a girl need to be tactical. I agree and I have no doubts. BUT this will never ever happen to me anymore!! Especially after watching 'Ugly Truth', and for those who have not watch it, it's highly recommended to watch it. In this show, they displayed how the actress use tactics on the guy she loves. In the end, she really got it. But is there real happiness in this?? There is no happiness. Never ever will there be, BECAUSE you are not being yourself, instead, acting like you are someone or trying to be nice and tactful only. I believe love is something that does not purely depend on the feelings, like you have said, brain plays a part too. But brain should not allows you to resort to tactics.

I have never ignored your sms or call before, because I really want to be there for you. I don't like what tactics of not replying your sms or call, just to make you think of me more; or missing me more! In fact, what I want to convey is how much I really care for you. And how much I really can do for you. I was really ecstatic when you tell me you miss me. I felt more than any other things. What I want to tell you is, I'm willing to go extra mile just for you, ASY.

Things definitely have changed more than what I have expected. I remember you telling me you won't want to ignore my sms, or you will reply because you feel bad. I can feel the difference now, I know you are trying to avoid or ignore me. I shall not make myself more irritating just to chat with you again.

I'm sorry to land you into this situation. I apologise for all, it's all my fault!! No matter what, I will always be supporting you, just like I have did for your friendly. and I will always be there for you, and waiting for the chance.

I miss you!

2 comments:

BluEmELLOws said...

Rayduin, Sophia here. It's sad reading your blog.. Things have changed so much since we grown up.. To experience pain, troubles, expectations from self and others.. I totally agreed with your confessions. Be it courtship or in love with someone is important being your true self.. So u'll really feel secure and assured that the person u engaged with, loves you for who you are.. see your shortcomings, strengths and still complements and bring out the best in you.. should be vice versa. Tactics or mind games are undesirable as it may lead to misunderstandings and conflicts. It's more of manipulation of feelings and not love. For yourself, in everything you do, as long as you give your best, sometimes the process itself is much more meaningful if u could reflect about what have you really gained or learnt from them? There's always some part of humour in it. You could also give a thought about what can be improve, avoided etc. Outcome is not as significant as it always have to be.. For AYS, i really dunno what's going on? However if u sincerely love and honour her, i believe she would surely knows. I'm unsure if you've moved on? I had experienced a few ups and downs in my past relationships. Shed tears of hurt too. However if we cry, our tears must heal us.If you never been through the pain, you'll never know how deeply you have loved. 失去的,不一定是最好.有舍必有得.不肯放下手中所失去的,你怎会看到幸福的源头?有时侯,祝福也是一种爱.我深信想要给别人幸福的你,一定会得到幸福. I hope i ain't too late to tell you all this!! Rayduin, continue to stay positive!! Jia you!! All the best and take care. =D

BluEmELLOws said...

Rayduin, Sophia here. It's sad reading your blog.. Things have changed so much since we grown up.. To experience pain, troubles, expectations from self and others.. I totally agreed with your confessions. Be it courtship or in love with someone is important being your true self.. So u'll really feel secure and assured that the person u engaged with, loves you for who you are.. see your shortcomings, strengths and still complements and bring out the best in you.. should be vice versa. Tactics or mind games are undesirable as it may lead to misunderstandings and conflicts. It's more of manipulation of feelings and not love. For yourself, in everything you do, as long as you give your best, sometimes the process itself is much more meaningful if u could reflect about what have you really gained or learnt from them? There's always some part of humour in it. You could also give a thought about what can be improve, avoided etc. Outcome is not as significant as it always have to be.. For AYS, i really dunno what's going on? However if u sincerely love and honour her, i believe she would surely knows. I'm unsure if you've moved on? I had experienced a few ups and downs in my past relationships. Shed tears of hurt too. However if we cry, our tears must heal us.If you never been through the pain, you'll never know how deeply you have loved. 失去的,不一定是最好.有舍必有得.不肯放下手中所失去的,你怎会看到幸福的源头?有时侯,祝福也是一种爱.我深信想要给别人幸福的你,一定会得到幸福. I hope i ain't too late to tell you all this!! Rayduin, continue to stay positive!! Jia you!! All the best and take care. =D